"I'm married..." ... "I'm still down for whatever..."
Yup, we hear that Robbins and Ryan have been having an affair on and off since the 1990s…
Or, in Meg’s case, perhaps the fucking 1890s (by way of a time machine) because holy Christ on crutches, what the fuck happened to her face!?
But, according to Star Magazine, Robbins (who has moved out of the palatial New York loft he shared with Sarandon) is:
“thrilled that he doesn’t have to sneak around anymore. He’s even been staying at Meg’s LA home.”
Yeah… I vote to have Tim Robbins’ brain examined because honesty, dumping Susan Sarandon for Meg Ryan is like ordering the most delicious filet mignon for dinner, taking 20 years to savour it, and then sending it back for a plate of wet, sloppy fish by-products whose face perpetually looks like it just got a splinter…
Whoah! As of today, the Nielsen Co. has already estimated that over 106.5 million viewers tuned in to watch the Saints beat the Colts… Last year’s Super Bowl brought in 98.7 million viewers.
This now officially marks Super Bowl XLIV as the most-watched television program in history, even beating out the 1983 M*A*S*H finale… Which always perplexed me…
Like, everyone’s always comparing epic television to the M*A*S*H finale…
I mean, the only thing unbelievable about M*A*S*H was Loretta Swit’s surged-out robot face…
She looks so much better now that she’s allowed herself to age gracefully…
… Then I’m pretty sure we aren’t friends anyway. No, really.
Which, in a way, is a relief because now I can tell you that I wasn’t out of town for your birthday party, I just didn’t want to get you a gift because you didn’t deserve one…
Because you didn’t think a dog in a ruffle skirt dancing the mambo was funny….
“One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head. She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her. She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time. It’s so twisted. They’re not together, but they are. I never thought I’d ever say this, but I really do feel sorry for Lindsay. She is just lost. She’s alone. She has no friends to turn to.”
Look, I don’t condone violence, but I’m pretty sure that if the rumors are true that Sam Ronson opened a can of Whoop-Ass on Lindsay Lohan, that she was totally justified…
As a matter of fact, someone give that young man a medal… Because, you know, Lindsay Lohan is basically a lot like one of those inflatable clowns that laugh when you punch it, then float back up to taunt you…
Well, and also that clown balloon always asks to borrow money and gave you herpes at one point…
Here is a video compilation of photos of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie making out and fondling each other at the Superbowl, set to weird baby music…
I mean, it was meant to convey the message that Brad and Angelina are still a couple, but mostly it just proves that the person who made this video is a total fucking loonbag/ kid-toucher…
So, on the downside, Brad Pitt still has a beard that looks like a goat’s na-na…
On the upside, if Jennifer Aniston finally decides to off herself, she can just play this video on loop in lieu of writing a sappy suicide note…
Eh-hem… Well, we’ve been hearing tons of rumors about pregnant stars lately, but this one takes the cake…
Sure, she’s a superstar, sure she’s married to a superstar, but a mother!? That’s right, we’re hearing that this diva is also in her first trimester and doing her best to hide her growing tummy from the press…
Now, those who know her persona well probably had an inkling something was different about her recent award show appearance… Perhaps a high-wasted, gathered, two piece ensemble, and a much lower energy performance…?
Eh-hem… Whether you like the drama in New York, Orange County, New Jersey, or Atlanta, Bravo’s Housewives always bring the catfights each week, and it looks like they’re giving us more. Guess which celebrity’s mom may be joining the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?
This celebrity may be addicted to tweeting her every move, but we just love the photos she posts of her 2 young kids and her rocker boyfriend, and now she can show support for her mom too! It’s not totally certain, but she would be joining Paris Hilton’s aunts on the show, so you already know some drama and secrets await!
