"F off, Dan!"
Grab your diapers. Yup… it happened. In New York… It really is THE CITY OF DREAMS!
Yesterday… HitDanBack met R-Patz. The thing is that I posted that video of those insane girls attacking him, but the truth is that when I encountered him right near NYU (my alma mater, thank you very much) at first I wasn’t sure if it was him, but then I realized that I too became a Pattinson-zombie… It was PHENOMENAL… My legs locked up and I’m pretty sure my eyes rolled back in my head… and I drooled… which was probably super attractive looking.
Anyhoo, here’s the deal. He’s actually pretty intense up-close and he was smoking! And I TOTALLY didn’t mind… Honestly, this dude could have been screaming and running at me with a chainsaw, shooting a machine gun and I still would have hugged him. Also I was half expecting him to say “Hay-Low” in that weird turn-of-the-century intonation that he uses in Twilight when Bella first talks to him in biology class. But instead I’m sure he was looking at me and contemplating a restraining order, which would have been a good idea in retrospect because I toootally went after him. Wanna know why? Because that’s how I roll…
So just when R-Patz thought it was safe to escape, I got him. Yes, I got him. So I said, “Robert, do you know who I am?” No, really. I swear to GAWD! And he was all “Errrrr, no man” with fear in his eyes… Also, yeah, he called me a “man”. Excuse me for a second while crack open a cold one and change the carburetor in my pick-up… Ok, so then I told him to read the site and he said he didn’t read gossip… So I said… “Well HitDanBack is different!!” And seriously he was almost running away from me at this point but managed to turn around and say “How is it different, man?” Also, “man” AGAIN!!?? So I said, “It’s different because I only write about two things… vampires and the Irish”…
Ok, so this was one of those moments where I actually tried to grab the words that came out of my mouth and furiously stuff them back in by making large netting motion with my shaking hands. He actually looked at me and laughed… Phew!
Anyway, after a few glorious, awkward seconds, he was off just as mysteriously as he had arrived.
Thank god this all happened because honestly, if I didn’t meet R-Patz soon, I’d never be able to show my face on the internet again!
Seriously, all you crazed teenage girls, you might be onto something here.
Hay-Low!?!
