Lots of times people say that you when end one addiction you begin another… I mean now that apparently Lindsay has been off Red Bull, vodka, whiskey, gin, cheap champagne, moonshine, hairspray, rubbing alcohol, marijuana, blow, speed, opiates, ’shrooms, LSD, PCP, angel dust, special K, curare, Sam Ronson, peyote, and meth for a day or so, it’s possible that she feels the need to compensate with another compulsive behavior. I mean, I am a doctor, so my expert opinion is of note in this matter. Yes, it’s a little known fact, but I am a doctor and I run a small practice with my partner,
Karl Lagerfeld… the
dermatologist.
Anyhoo, it looks like Lindsay has turned to theft! Boo-Yah! Now remember that this is a familiar pattern to
“Patient L”. In 2007 “
Patient L” stole $10K worth of clothes and jewelry from model
Lauren Hastings (who
“Patient L” later called a “fat liar”…) while visiting a mutual friend who was housesitting at Hastings apartment. Then she dabbled a bit more in larceny when she lifted some clothes from a Louis Vuitton shoot, and finally wrapped up her theft ring when she stole an $11K fur from student at a Columbia University party which she
was later photographed wearing and had to return, lol… Imagine how that went? “Oh, sorry… I know I told you I didn’t steal this… But the camera adds 15 lbs… of mink…”
Lindsay Lohan is at the center of a London police investigation in connection with the theft of jewelry from a magazine photo shoot. The actress was in the English capital recently, when she posed for an upcoming spread in fashion glossy Elle, according to sources. An insider (says), “She kept going on about the jewels, asking if she could have them. We all thought she was joking.” The jewelers realized the $45,000 (GBP30,000) worth of bling was missing after the shoot and contacted magazine bosses, who insisted they had no knowledge of what had become of the gems.
Ring-Ring…Ring-Ring…
“‘Allo?”
“Sam? It’s me….”
“Who?”
“Um… your friend…”
“Which one?”
“Ummmm, I think it’s better if I don’t say… I mean, it’s not your friend… it’s the person who loves you…”
“Nana Louise?!”
“No… not your Nana, but yourrrr…..”
“Cigarettes?”
“Yes, this is your little cigarette with red hair… and I’m leaving town and I need you to come with me…”
“Why are you leaving town, little cigarette with red hair?”
“I’m in trouble with Scotland Yard… I, uh, stole some jewels…”
“How did a cigarette with red hair steal a jewel?”
“Nevermind, I’m outside your flat in a disguise… Look out your window! We have to leave now…like, right now…”
“Ok, hang on… Oh blast! Listen little cigarette with red hair, meet me around the back and try to be quiet… I just looked out the window and bloody Lindsay Lohan is in front of my house dressed as a
Beef Eater on a blue horse…”
Click…
