Archive for August, 2009

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Britney & Jamie Lynn Tan With Their Chibren…

Monday, August 31st, 2009

"Oh Dayum, Gurrrl! You got kids too!? You better watch that one, Jayden's given her his 'Horny Eyes'!"

Britney and her younger sister, Jamie Lynn Spears surfaced to tan their children together today in Miami… First of all, I feel like Jamie Lynn is literally 12 and her daughter’s 2… Secondly, who likes her daughter’s string bikini?!  Huh?! Huh!? Who’s feeling that look?! Yee Haw!

No, really… It’s weird because this is obviously some super swank hotel, but couldn’t you just swap out the background for an algae-covered inflatable pool (with a half-eaten chicken wing floating in it) in the back of a trailer and have it make SO much more sense?  Good, me too.  Livin’ the life, ya’ll!

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Posted by dan at 8/31/2009 2:27PM Add Comment

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Ok, please take a few moments to savor this clip.  It really is a bona fide slice of total, unadulterated insanity.  It’s a video of a nice, quiet Christmas day at home with another in a series of creepy British dudes and his collection of dolls.

I really have no words, it’s just too crunk.  Incidentally, the “dolls” are life-sized, custom made sex dummies who have interchangeable faces… He likes to photograph them interacting in costumes.  Annnnnnd… I’m pretty sure I’m due back on fucking planet earth in about 15 seconds, so good luck…

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Posted by dan at 8/31/2009 1:09PM Add Comment

Best Picture Ever: I Love You Ginger Spice

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Tee Hee...

Tee Hee...

Please check out this photo of Ginger Spice (aka Geri Halliwell) trying not to laugh in the face of some German tourist’s penis on the beach in St. Tropez.

I also like this photo because you can tell that the dude is totally pissed the Geri isn’t cast under the spell of his Fik-Shnitzel.  Also, for all ya’ll sickos in the house who wanna see das goods, it’s surprising that Geri didn’t vomit on the spot, because this dude’s dick looks like a melting road-flare…

ASIDE: If you looked at that photo on-purpose, you’re one step away from becoming a Branch Dividian, but we can still rock together…

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Posted by dan at 8/31/2009 12:51PM Add Comment

Kurt Cobain Appears Posthumously In Guitar Hero 5…

Monday, August 31st, 2009
This is awkward...

This is awkward...

Yup, the remaining members of Nirvana, along with that sweet piece of ass, Courtney Love, actually handed over the rights to Smells Like Teen Spirit and Lithium to be used in the upcoming video game.  If that wasn’t weird enough, Kurt will also appear as a PLAYABLE CHARACTER… CREEEPY.

In that past, Ol’ Court has been super vocal about not selling Cobain’s memory and keeping his legacy intact.  In this case, however, she actually handed over footage and photos, as well as hand picked virtual wardrobe pieces to make Kurt’s computer character as authentic as possible, in exchange for a huge payout.

This whole thing is weird, especially in light of Kurt Cobain’s total and complete disdain for selling out and fame as a whole… And also because his character looks more like Dakota Fanning dressed as Kurt Cobain than anything else.

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Posted by dan at 8/31/2009 12:02PM Add Comment

The Art of The Comeback…

Monday, August 31st, 2009

whitney-ebony

Like I said, she’s still got a little crackpipe in her voice, but Whitney Houston is BACK… Check her out looking a bit older and wiser, but still GORGEOUS on the cover of Ebony… Praise Jesus!

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Posted by dan at 8/31/2009 11:22AM Add Comment

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