"You're old..." ... "Well, at least I'm employed..."

Man, this is awesome! Apparently, early on in filming the first episode of Melrose Place, Heather Locklear arrived on set and was apparently unhappy with Ashlee Simpson’s attitude… So, she did what any big name would do, and threw Ashlee a little shade right back.

Only days later, in the midst of Locklear’s cameo appearance, Heather actually overheard Ashlee making fun of Heather for being “too old” to be on the show… OH NO SHE DID NOT! Oh, yes… She did.

A “Source” told Star Magazine:

“Heather was jealous of Ashlee immediately,” says an insider. “She knew Ashlee was one of the bigger names on set, and she wanted her gone so she could make it her show. Heather is very politcial and calculating…”

Yeah, right. P.S. Heather had Ashlee canned from the show. Ashlee should have known better than to mess with the likes of a primordial, cackling sea dwelling, cat-witch. Anyhoo, that’s that. Done. Lock it up. Fired. See ya!

I’d go ahead and say that the superfluous 2 feet of healthy nose that Ashlee chopped off is probably sitting in a freezer someplace laughing its ass off because even it knows not to mess with this…

Yeah, it’s probably just watching with its arms crossed, rocking back and forth muttering “I made you… What goes around comes around, you button-nosed bitch…”