Archive for December, 2009

Happy Birthday Mom & Happy New Year To All!

Thursday, December 31st, 2009
Get it crunk for 2010!

I have to be honest, I'm not sure I remember being in this photo...

That’s right! It’s New Year’s Eve which means two very important things that you should all be aware of!

Most importantly, Happy Birthday to the fiercest Jewess on the Eastern Seaboard! For all ya’ll that don’t know, HitDanBack’s mother is simply the best there is and I’ve got to be the luckiest (gay) son in the universe… I love, love, love you, Mom!

And secondly, all of us at HitDanBack are ridiculously psyched to be heading into a brand spanking new year full of fabulous ish!

You’ve all made this year the absolute best yet! And just to think, a year ago, HitDanBack.com was just a glimmer in his old man’s eye! So, thank all of you so much for making it a reality!

Pop bottles for 2010, everyone! Only wonderful, fantastic days await and we’re dying to see what happens next!

XO,

HDB

  • Share/Bookmark

Who Wants To Be Impotent: Jersey Shore’s “Snookie”…

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
Kill me

No... Not "OK!"...

Honestly, the Gandalf the Grey of photoshop couldn’t produce anything this horrifying. This is the sort of thing that belongs in a federal government vault underneath the toilet in the Oval Office along with the photos from Area 51

It’ll make you want to throw your computer out the window and scissor-kick everyone in your office. It’ll also make you want to burn out your eyes with a flamethrower and repeatedly slam your penis in a sliding door.

It’s no use. You could take all of the Viagra left in the world and it’d be a placebo… A placebo that laughs in your face and points at the white flag of surrender waving through the fly of your pants…

  • Share/Bookmark

Whitney’s Smoking Crack Again…

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Hand me my pipe, Clive...

"Hand me my pipe, Clive..."

That’s what we hear… Apparently, the stresses of releasing a new album and promoting it have acted as a liaison between Whit-Whit and the glass dick

Sources close to the star have revealed that she’s beginning to exhibit some questionable and familiar behavior:

“Whitney seems to go from being a nervous wreck to being completely out of it in a short period of time – just like she did when she was freebasing and using crack cocaine. She is still drinking and with Whitney, alcohol and drugs have always gone hand-in-hand.”

Say it ain’t so! You know I love me some sober Whitney!

I’m really hoping Bobby just sold this story to the tabloids as revenge for Whitney telling the world he used to paint evil eyes on her bedroom wall (that, although, harmless to a normal human being) would with the addition of freebased crack, keep her awake for weeks on end…

But, just in case it is true… here’s a taste of what we’ve got to look forward to:

  • Share/Bookmark

Brad, Angelina and Brood…

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
Daddy... Are you in ZZ Top?

"Daddy... Are you in ZZ Top?"

Here’s a photo of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie hanging out on the set of Angie’s re-shoots for her upcoming film, Salt, with two of their numerous offspring…

I’m pretty sure Shiloh and Zahara are at odds over the love of their famous parents…

I think there might be some sort of dialogue going on between them that we’re not privy to, and I think it might go like this:

Zahara: Dad’s beard smells like Jennifer Aniston

Shiloh: You’re a bitch…

Zahara: Your mother looks like a fucking alien.

Shiloh: Yeah, well at least I never ate shrew for dinner…

The End.

  • Share/Bookmark

Breaking News: Bomb Scare At VOGUE!

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
Sizzlin'...

Turkey's done!

Whoah! Conde Nast (which houses Vogue) just evacuated their building in Times Square.

A source close to my heart, who is on staff at a Condé Nast, tells us that elevators at the 4 Times Square building were turned off as staff from several publications had to walk down 16 flights of stairs… in heels! Gurrrrrl!

We hear NY1 is not yet covering this story because George Whipple is having his eyebrows shot off with an acetylene torch in preparation for 2010…

Stay tuned!

  • Share/Bookmark