Archive for March, 2010

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VIDEO: Male Babies Are Allowed To Groove To “Single Ladies”…

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

Dont be mad cuz you see that he want it...

"Don't be mad 'cuz you see that he want it..."

I’m not sure I can accurately describe the devastation of this video…

Well, except to say that there was a time where neighbors of mine used to insist that I couldn’t wear a fur with my mother’s Dynasty-esque, silver, bow-topped stilettos outside to play.

And it hurt, people.

Thank dear god that I had parents with a crystal ball that only sees fierceness.

“Masai”… I see you, girl.

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 5:31PM Add Comment

Blind Item: Guess Who’s Singing The New James Bond Theme!

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

Eh-hem… Well, it seems like she just can’t lose…

As far as we’re concerned, singing the theme to a James Bond movie is just about as cool as it gets…

And it’s only fitting that the most cutting-edge star in the world get to pen it and perform it!

Although the contract has yet to be inked, we hear she’s totally on-board and can’t wait to get to work!

Know the answer!? Email: HitDanBack@gmail.com !

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 3:54PM Add Comment

VIDEO: Gays In The Military Don’t Cause Genocide, After All?

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

"Uh... he told me that gays did it... Yeah, that's the ticket... And he was, uh... Dutch... Yeah, Dutch..."

"Uh... He told me that gays did it... Yeah, that's the ticket... And he was, uh... Dutch... Yeah, Dutch..."

Remember how we told you that retired US Army Gen. Jack Sheehan testified that “high-ranking Dutch military officials” told him that gay soldiers were responsible for the genocide at Srebrenica?

Sure you do!

Also, I won’t lie to you… It took me fifteen minutes to figure out how to spell “Srebrenica”… and I’m still only about 30% sure that I’m correct…

Well, anyway, it turns out that Jack cited his “high-ranking Dutch military official” source by changing around some poor dude’s name, hoping nobody would notice…

But they did notice, and found the guy Jack was falsely citing and he was all, “Bitch be crazy.”

Enjoy, thanks to Rachel Maddow:

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(Thanks for the tip, CC!)


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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 3:38PM Add Comment

VIDEO: What Do The Catholic Church, Sinead O’Connor And Larry King Have In Common?

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
"Dis is how ya make an urn..."

"Have ya ever yewzed a potterz wheel, M'lass?"

Uh.

Apparently, Larry King did a show about the on-going cases of child molestation within the ranks of the Catholic Church and their implications on the Pope…

His guests included the hot, gay dude from CNN (no, not Andy) who got fired for posting naked photos of himself online (and, incidentally, was molested by a church-member), a “spiritual-looking” priest with hungry eyes, a church rep with anger issues who kept referring to The New York Times as “the old lady“, and reiterated that the molestation technically is not “pedophilia” if the victim is 12 or 13 years old… it’s just straight-up gay sex….

And…

… Wait for it…

Sinead O’Connor (of course), who based on her new look, might be the new pottery teacher at your middle school.

Enjoy:

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(Via OMG! Blog)

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 3:13PM Add Comment

All You Ever Needed To Know About “The Millionaire Matchmaker”… Ever…

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

Crafts...

Crafts...

I’m not sure if you guys watch “The Millionaire Matchmaker”…

Usually, I don’t watch it because Patti Stanger seems to be systematically lowering my sperm count (which is why I’ve chosen to only feature drawings of her likeness, if you’ve noticed)…

On the other hand, this season, in order to deal with super-tool millionaires, Patti’s enlisted the help of the bat-shit, oral sex-crazed Dr. Pat Allen.

I’m dangerously in love.

Operative word being “danger”…

Enjoy responsibly:

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 2:45PM Add Comment

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