All I can really say is that Kim Cattrall’s face has more fucking CGI swirling through it than Avatar…
I’d be surprised if your computer doesn’t straight-up crash after trying to load this nightmare, because Kim’s cranial ridge alone is probably 16 quadrillion pixels of constant wrinkle-camouflaging movement…
They should have just kept with the formula and tried burning that shit off with acid…
Hm.
Speaking of “acid”, does anybody else keep seeing a glittering purple horse with blonde hair and a hamburger for a tail, that keeps peeking its head out between Miranda’s legs?
"Don't tell anyone, but this show is based on us..."
So, last night, in true form, it took me almost three hours to watch “The Real Housewives of New York City”, because I spent all of my time pausing and rewinding my DVR, so that I could take crinked cellphone photos and videos…
I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed last night’s episode because Bethenny, Bethenny’s fetus, Sonya, and Alex all came together (without any knowledge that they were working in tandem) in a perfect storm to systematically oust Jill Zarin…
It was fucking EPIC.
Here goes:
LuAnn’s starting to sniff around Sonya’s flower-patch because she’s way richer than Jill is…
Jill’s mad that Sonya’s rich, so she insults LuAnn’s charity event invitation…
Sonya could give a fuck about anything because her freaky Psychic, “Roberta” green-lit her dubious liposuction…
Meanwhile, Perez Hilton broke the story that Bethenny haz baybay…
Jill’s jealous that Bethenny’s fetus is on Perez, so she makes believe she’s helping Bethenny and texts her to tell her to be ‘tight-lipped‘ for the welfare of her baby…
Ramona’s eyes go turbo and she’s all “Fuck dem ho’s” and starts a skincare line for crazy people and throws herself a fiesta…
Eh-hem…She’s one of People Magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful People” this year.
He’s a model that hardly anyone knows.
What do they have in common? …An engagement.
Guess the celebrity who’s engaged to this punk rock bleached blonde male model, who just happens to look like he’s 14 years old. Well, he’s actually 21…and she’s 26.
You can see that this relationship is definitely going places. He does look like husband material after all.
Pauly D. (who, oddly enough, makes my underwear hum) is in Miami with the rest of the morons from “Jersey Shore” shooting their second season…
Some photographer had the dubious, fragrant task of following Pauly around all day to see what a normal 24 hours is like for Rhode Island’s tannest DJ…
