"Oh, bitch plaze..."
I’d imagine that Anderson Cooper probably had to negotiate before accepting the mission to decimate Jessica Simpson with his eyes…
Satan: “Anderson… I’m prepared to make you a deal that I think will please us both…”
Satan: “Better… John Mayer…”
Anderson: “What are the terms… and make it quick, Wolf Blizter’s waiting to talk with you…”
Satan: “You have to murder Jessica Simpson… At The Oscars…”
Anderson: “How? That’s ridiculous, it’ll never work…”
Satan: “Here’s the beauty… I’m equipping your eyes with deadly poison… all you have to do is look at her!”
Anderson: “Oh, I don’t know, this sounds risky…”
Satan: “Last week, Jessica told me that Gloria Vanderbilt was her style icon…”
Anderson: “Eh…”
Satan: “John Mayer’s been called a “soulful, horse-hung, AC/DC, super-top”…
Anderson: “Lock and load…”
Tags: Anderson Cooper, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, Rob Lowe, Satan
Dan, you must turn this into a full fledged 2 act play