Beauty Archive

Photo of The Day: Jessica Simpson Is A Stupid Idiot…

Monday, February 22nd, 2010
Post lobotomy...

Post lobotomy...

Jessica Simpson took to her Twitter account to show that beauty doesn’t come easy.

She tweeted a photo of herself wearing a face mask with a caption that read:

“The Price Of Beauty  Thanks La Mer for the upper and lower zone radiant mask.”

La Mer then took to their own Twitter account five minutes later saying:

“CAUTION: Upper and lower zone radiant masks contain folic acids that will sizzle your fucking brain apart and make you eat like a horse.”

  • Share/Bookmark

Blind Item: Guess The Sneaky Starlet!

Thursday, February 18th, 2010
"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

Eh-hem… Okay, does this actress have talent? Hmmm we don’t have the answer, because yes, even we are completely distracted by her dark good looks. And yeah, she kinda scares the shit out of us too…

Either way, we just don’t trust her, and she just doesn’t seem to trust anyone either. Whether or not she distracts everyone around her, guess which popular young movie actress told W Magazine:

“I don’t trust people in this industry, but I especially don’t trust girls in this industry, because it’s incredibly competitive, and I’m just not interested.”

Does she not realize that she is the competition? It’s easy to say that when you’ve gone from crappy TV show to big blockbuster hits. Seriously, those girls don’t trust her either!

Know the answer!? Email: HitDanBack@gmail.com !

  • Share/Bookmark

Bradley Cooper’s Face… Something’s Up…

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
Two-tone...

Natural Glow...

Bradley Cooper showed up to the premiere of Valentine’s Day looking like he went bobbing for apple-bottoms in raw sewage… or like he borrowed Renelle Zingwinger’s makeup artiste for the evening…

Who’s feeling this look? Huh?

What say you, Franken-Weger!?

  • Share/Bookmark

I’ll Hazard A Guess: Calvin Klein Had A Facelift…

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010
Dear god...

Dear god...

You know, I’m not too good at spotting when celebrities have had work done… It’s just not really my thing…

On the other hand, here are two photos of Calvin Klein, taken less than two years apart…

As you can see, in 2008 he looked like a normal, 65 year old man and in late 2009 he looks like some sort of insatiably horny, gay baby…

(Via Cityfile)

  • Share/Bookmark

Blind Item: Guess The Shrinking Star!

Thursday, January 28th, 2010
"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

Eh-hem… Last time we checked, this gorgeous celeb seemed pretty damn good looking as usual, but it looks like she’s getting thinner by the day. After having 2 kids, guess which A-Lister dropped from a size 6 to the teeny tiny size of 0 and says she:

“Got on the treadmill, stopped stuffing my face and lost the weight. I cut out croissants, bagels and

muffins — all the good stuff — and went back to having a salad once a day and protein.”

We’re all for being healthy, but with her once muscular physique, we hope she gains muscle instead of losing more pounds! Either way, with that blinding smile, we’ll be distracted by her no matter if she’s carrying her daughters around, dragging her equally good looking husband somewhere, or acting on the big screen!

Know the answer? Email: HitDanBack@gmail.com !

  • Share/Bookmark

Blind Item: Guess The Golden Globes Nose Job!

Monday, January 18th, 2010
"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

Eh-hem… We love this actress… Really, we do. And to tell you the truth, we think her shnoz-tweak was a wise decision.

What’s the secret to keeping your career hot in Hollywood? Get better looking with age, but subtly! Although, to this fiery A-lister, The Golden Globes are small potatoes, she still took the red carpet looking flawless. We couldn’t quite put it together, but something looked slightly different about her face. Then it hit us! Right in the nose!

That’s right, with a little shave here, and a missing bump there, she’s even more beautiful than before!

Know the answer!? Email: HitDanBack@gmail.com !

  • Share/Bookmark

Heidi Montag Is A Quilt…

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
Buttah-face...

Buttah-face...

Heidi Montag graces this month’s cover of People Magazine in order to draw attention to the fact that she’s “addicted to plastic surgery”…

Man, I was under the impression that Heidi was basically just stupid and mean, but this situation takes her to a whole other level of sickness…

You realize that she’s actually turning herself into a monster in order to get press, right? Awesome! Let’s read about it!

Says People:

“At just 23 years old, The Hills star Heidi Montag decided to go under the knife for a second time and have a staggering 10 plastic-surgery procedures in one day.

“For the past three years, I’ve thought about what to have done,” the reality star tells PEOPLE. “I’m beyond obsessed.”

And so, on Nov. 20, Montag’s total transformation began. Keeping even her family in the dark, the starlet chronicled every painful moment of recovery and her journey to become “the best me.”"

Wow, cool. Anyhoo, I’m pretty that after seeing this photograph of Heidi’s nightmarish face, I’m also going to be “addicted to plastic surgery”…

But, only in the sense that I’m going to pay to have my eyes removed with a laser, then repeatedly run over by an eighteen wheeler in order to escape the memory of Heidi’s freakish punim….

  • Share/Bookmark

Blind Item: Guess The Actress Caught Lying About Her Age!

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

Eh-hem… Honestly, as blind items go, this might be the most hellaciously embarrassing one of all time…

Guess the aging actress who showed up to an event at the White House and was shocked to have to yield to a security check. Sadly, the age on her driver’s license didn’t match what security had on record, by a long shot…

So, she had to give ‘em the old razzle dazzle and finally they let her in!

We hear her movie-star husband was so embarrassed that they cut the evening short and went home! Yikes!

Know the answer!? Email: HitDanBack@gmail.com !

  • Share/Bookmark

Happy Birthday Mom & Happy New Year To All!

Thursday, December 31st, 2009
Get it crunk for 2010!

I have to be honest, I'm not sure I remember being in this photo...

That’s right! It’s New Year’s Eve which means two very important things that you should all be aware of!

Most importantly, Happy Birthday to the fiercest Jewess on the Eastern Seaboard! For all ya’ll that don’t know, HitDanBack’s mother is simply the best there is and I’ve got to be the luckiest (gay) son in the universe… I love, love, love you, Mom!

And secondly, all of us at HitDanBack are ridiculously psyched to be heading into a brand spanking new year full of fabulous ish!

You’ve all made this year the absolute best yet! And just to think, a year ago, HitDanBack.com was just a glimmer in his old man’s eye! So, thank all of you so much for making it a reality!

Pop bottles for 2010, everyone! Only wonderful, fantastic days await and we’re dying to see what happens next!

XO,

HDB

  • Share/Bookmark

Blind Item: Guess Who’s Spicing Up “Sherlock Holmes 2″!?

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

Eh-hem… As if this movie didn’t already have some pretty good looking actors in it, it seems they’re adding more to the mix. Guess which A-List actor will be joining in on the fun on Sherlock Holmes 2? Joining Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law, this cast will be sizzling hot whether or not the plot is entertaining.

If only this actor would leave the kids at home and bring a friend along…we wouldn’t be totally mad if George Clooney or Matt Damon were to join in too!

Know the answer!? Email: HitDanBack@gmail.com !

  • Share/Bookmark