Meet "Dr. Spike"...

Yes! It’s here!

We told you to look out for Ruthie’s premiere handbag!

Every once in a while, HitDanBack becomes so obsessed with a piece of fashion that he feels it’s his public duty to share it with the people.

Cue RUTHIE DAVIS…

You’ll be in fabulous company…

The likes of BEYONCE (with Ruthie), Miley Cyrus, LEIGHTON MEESTER, KATY PERRY, and KIM KARDASHIAN… All pictured in Ruthie’s shoes.

And now, we’re thrilled to report that RUTHIE’S first handbag ever, “Doctor Spike” is available exclusively on shop.HitDanBack.com!

Only twenty bags have been made…

And you can’t have BEYONCE’S…

Buy now, or forever hold your chic!

xoxo!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP.HITDANBACK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER!

Ok!?

Um.

Please marvel at Harpers Bazaar China’s feature on Ruthie as one of the Top 7 Global Shoe Designers…

I mean, I hate to say “I told you so”…

Again…

What I’m saying is that it’s time you experienced the glamour and genius of Ruthie Davis for yourself…

You’ll be in fabulous company…

The likes of BEYONCE (with Ruthie), MILEY CYRUS, LEIGHTON MEESTER, KATY PERRY, and KIM KARDASHIAN… All pictured in Ruthie’s shoes.

AND NOW, WE’RE THRILLED TO REPORT THAT RUTHIE’S FIRST HANDBAG EVER, “DR. SPIKE” IS AVAILABLE EXCLUSIVELY ON SHOP.HITDANBACK.COM!

Only twenty bags have been made…

And you can’t have BEYONCE’S…

BUY NOW, OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR CHIC!

xoxo!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP.HITDANBACK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER!

"Mmmbluhhhh"

I need someone to explain to me why Jennifer Love Hewitt is still doing interviews…

Seriously, she hasn’t been on a noteworthy show since fucking “Party of Five“…

Also, if dating history is a microcosm for life, Jennifer she just pack it the fuck in, because she’s literally been engaged and dumped at least 7 or 8 times…

Anyhoo, People sat down with Jennifer to talk about body image and, at first, she made believe that being fleshy is cool… and then, by accident, she threw in how she really feels:

In a world that’s overly focused on body image, Jennifer Love Hewitt is urging young women not to obsess about weight – because it’s simply not worth it.
“When I meet young girls, I’m always like, ‘Just do me one favor,’ ” she tells PEOPLE in its new issue. “Love what you look like right now – and remember I said it 10 years from now because it’s the greatest gift I can give.”

(Hewitt) still fesses up to dreaming about having a certain body type.
“I’d want to have Gisele Bundchen’s body. Even though she’s tall and skinny, she does have curves … and I think that’s hot,” says Hewitt. “Halle Berry also is kind of amazing.”

Right?

That’s pretty awesome, thanks…

Appealing to young girls to love their bodies in one sentence, then saying you wish you looked like this in the next is basically like asking Hitler to cater your Passover seder…

Nice one, dummy…

The End.

CLICK HERE TO SHOP.HITDANBACK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER

"Precious Cells"

Um…

Here’s a new ad for Lancome’s “Precious Cells” mascara…

I’d imagine that the “Precious Cells” in question are probably “Stem Cells” because they’ve managed to take Julia’s aging process and throw that bitch into turbo reverse…

Obviously, lots of work and preparation go into a high profile ad campaign, featuring a big Hollywood star, like this one…

Luckily, I was able to find the list of credits for this shot:

Hair: Jim Lipman (Sally Hershberger NYC)

Makeup: Elif Gezgec (Lancome US)

Styling: Mimberly Mabigail Meyer (Chico’s)

Set Design: Emily Yeskel (Industrial Light and Magic)

Photoshop: Fucking Gandalf The Grey (The Shire)

The End.

CLICK HERE TO SHOP.HITDANBACK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER

LOVE!

I mean, I hate to say “I told you so”…

Again…

But, please look at Miley rocking a pair of our obsession, Ruthie Davis’ Fall 2010 “Angelina” pumps…

O.M.F.G.!!

Are they hot, or what?!

And, just because we love you so much…

A little birdie told us that Ruthie just happens to be branching out into the handbag market, with a sister for her “Spike” shoe…

So far, she’s only made twenty bags…

Beyonce’s getting one… and you know she’s not giving it up…

I wonder where the remaining nineteen bags might just show up for exclusive sale…???

*Wink*Wink*

coming soon!

xo

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER!

"Puh-Shewwwwwwww!"

Here’s a photo from the campaign of Marc Jacob’s new fragrance for men, “BANG”… Duh.

The ad features Marc Jacobs all greased up with some sort of a magic, light-throwing rune over his junk…

There’s a whole quote about how and why Marc decided to use himself as the nude model, but I mean, who even cares, right?

Instead, I’d like to tell you about how Marc and I used to go to the same gym, and he’d always work out next to me, and I’d always try to start up conversations with him…

But, he wasn’t interested.

In fact, one day we wore the same sweatpants to the gym, and passed one another on the steps, and I said, “Oh my god! Nice shorts!” and he just looked right past me and said “Right”…

Anyhoo, I forgot about trying to befriend Marc Jacobs, and decided, instead, to devote my time and energy to becoming the hulking mass or testosterone that I am today…

But, one day, Anderson Cooper (who also went to my gym) was walking around the locker room in a towel, and went into the row where his locker was, presumably to drop the towel and dress after the shower…

Luckily, I was right nearby, so I could totally scope out his skim-milk colored ass…

“Someone“, on the other hand, was not so lucky, and literally had to lean backwards so far in order to catch a glimpse of Anderson’s blue tuchus, that they fell backwards, knocked over the bench, and hit the ground with his dwarf-taint in the air…

Annnnd, Anderson saw it.

Revenge is sweet, my friends…

The End.

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER!

"Narrate this, bitch"

Eh-hem…Last time we saw this chick was when she was 12 and playing the girl next door.

And now? Guess the actress who’s decided to gain attention this way since her career is clearly everything she’s dreamed of…

Obviously she figured if her career isn’t taking off, then she’ll just take off her clothes. So smart…and did we mention classy?

On the other hand, she has grown up a hell of a lot better than those co-stars of hers…

Know the answer!? Email: HITDANBACK@GMAIL.COM!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER

XOXO, Cheek Hair

So, one time I heard this girl talking about “Latisse” on the subway to her friend, who was literally a 20-year-old bald woman…

I mean, she wasn’t “bald”, per se…

Like, she had “hair”, but it was the consistency of the those fake spiderwebs that people decorate with on Halloween…

Anyhoo, the one girl was telling the bald girl that she couldn’t wait to buy “Latisse” because it’d grow her eye lashes super long and she’d never have to use mascara again, which was bonus because she had sensitive eyes…

Meanwhile, the entire time I could see that the bald girl was secretly wondering if she could use “Latisse” on her head…

You know?

Like, I could see her eyes wandering while the other girl spoke, and she’d, like, run her fingers over her bare scalp, and then have to interject “Oh, yeah… Uh-huh“, whenever the girl with hair stopped talking…

Anyhoo, it looks like she’s in luck because today it came out that those who use the lash-enhancing treatment may suffer side effects, such as permanent eye discoloration and cheek hair…

Obviously, these sorts of side-effects aren’t a hard-fast rule, but they seem to be cropping with some regularity…

In other news, I’ve just received two certified letters that I believe I should share with you:

“What side effects?”

- Bigfoot

and

Hey Dan,

“Remember when you couldn’t figure out what your worst fucking nightmare was?”

- “Cheek Hair”

The End.

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER

Post lobotomy...

Jessica Simpson took to her Twitter account to show that beauty doesn’t come easy.

She tweeted a photo of herself wearing a face mask with a caption that read:

“The Price Of Beauty  Thanks La Mer for the upper and lower zone radiant mask.”

La Mer then took to their own Twitter account five minutes later saying:

“CAUTION: Upper and lower zone radiant masks contain folic acids that will sizzle your fucking brain apart and make you eat like a horse.”

"That's what I heard..." ... "Bitch, please..."

Eh-hem… Okay, does this actress have talent? Hmmm we don’t have the answer, because yes, even we are completely distracted by her dark good looks. And yeah, she kinda scares the shit out of us too…

Either way, we just don’t trust her, and she just doesn’t seem to trust anyone either. Whether or not she distracts everyone around her, guess which popular young movie actress told W Magazine:

“I don’t trust people in this industry, but I especially don’t trust girls in this industry, because it’s incredibly competitive, and I’m just not interested.”

Does she not realize that she is the competition? It’s easy to say that when you’ve gone from crappy TV show to big blockbuster hits. Seriously, those girls don’t trust her either!

Know the answer!? Email: HitDanBack@gmail.com !