"Puh-Shewwwwwwww!"
Here’s a photo from the campaign of Marc Jacob’s new fragrance for men, “BANG”… Duh.
The ad features Marc Jacobs all greased up with some sort of a magic, light-throwing rune over his junk…
There’s a whole quote about how and why Marc decided to use himself as the nude model, but I mean, who even cares, right?
Instead, I’d like to tell you about how Marc and I used to go to the same gym, and he’d always work out next to me, and I’d always try to start up conversations with him…
But, he wasn’t interested.
In fact, one day we wore the same sweatpants to the gym, and passed one another on the steps, and I said, “Oh my god! Nice shorts!” and he just looked right past me and said “Right”…
Anyhoo, I forgot about trying to befriend Marc Jacobs, and decided, instead, to devote my time and energy to becoming the hulking mass or testosterone that I am today…
But, one day, Anderson Cooper (who also went to my gym) was walking around the locker room in a towel, and went into the row where his locker was, presumably to drop the towel and dress after the shower…
Luckily, I was right nearby, so I could totally scope out his skim-milk colored ass…
“Someone“, on the other hand, was not so lucky, and literally had to lean backwards so far in order to catch a glimpse of Anderson’s blue tuchus, that they fell backwards, knocked over the bench, and hit the ground with his dwarf-taint in the air…
Annnnd, Anderson saw it.
Revenge is sweet, my friends…
The End.
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