DAYUM!

I’m not sure if you guys were able to pick up on my subtle hints…

But, although you might not believe it…

Yes, I’m a HOMOSEXUAL…

I know.

Take a minute.

That being said, Blake Lively showed up at some shitty movie premiere in New York last night wearing the ugliest fucking dress I’ve ever seen, and she still looked ridiculously hot…

I’m not one to give compliments readily, but that dress looks like it just got run over by a truck and covered in frozen puke, and nobody even noticed…

Well, you know, except me…

You should also know that, one time, I saw Blake on the street and I followed her into a deli…

And I think she was wise to it, because she kept turning around to look back at me, like I was a stalker…

Which I am.

So, finally I spazzed out and had to pretend I was buying one of those disgusting sesame seed candies.

Except I got so nervous, that I picked it up, and screamed at the cashier:

“I mean, what’s in this!? Just seeds!?”

Then she hailed a cab…

The End.

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