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VIDEO: Hidden Camera Video Of Gwyneth Paltrow Singing…

Friday, March 5th, 2010
Strummin my painnnnn!

"Strummin' my painnnnn!"

Here’s a video I think you might like of Gwyneth Paltrow gracing an audience with her vocal stylings…

That’s right, she’s at it again…

Check out a rare cellphone video of Gwynnie belting a stirring rendition of “Killing Me Softly” at the wrap party for her new movie “Love Don’t Let Me Down“…

As I watched all 17 seconds of the video above, many thoughts raced through my head…

At the top of the list was that I’m surprised Roberta Flack didn’t just walk right up on stage in front of everyone in the audience and shoot Gwyneth in the head…

Enjoy:


(Via OMG! Blog, Via Videogum)

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 4:59PM Add Comment

Lady Gaga Likes To F-U-X…

Thursday, March 4th, 2010
Caught in the act!

Caught in the act!

You think Lady Gaga’s not a woman with needs? Well, she is…

And believe you me, this woman likes to satisfy her carnal desires…

Although, I’d imagine that dating Lady Gaga is not an easy task…

She recently told Cosmo:

“I wanted to sleep with as many rock ‘n’ roll guys as I could – and I’ve certainly had my fun.” And when she does commit to a relationship, the New Yorker admits she comes with a warning. “I tell any new boyfriend to hang on, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

That being said:

Dear Lady Gaga,

Do me a favor and don’t use the word “bumpy” when talking about anything that has anything to do with me… at all.

As if I don’t have enough fuckin’ problems…

Thanks in advance,

Your vestigial penis

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 5:47PM Add Comment

Dakota Fanning Sings “The Runaways”…

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Street cred...

Street cred...

I think I might be the only person on earth who’s excited to see The Runaways…

That being said, the vision of Dakota Fanning recording her rendition of “Cherry Bomb” just made me throw up in my mouth a little…

Not because I don’t like Dakota, but mostly because because while searching for a good photo to accompany this post, I came upon this still of Dakota on the set of The Runaways with a production assistant wiping what looks to be menstrual blood off her thighs…

Enjoy:

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 3:19PM Add Comment

Courtney Love’s New Song Is Called “Skinny Little Bitch”…

Thursday, March 4th, 2010
Im writing a song about you... ... Thats hot...

"I'm writing a song about you..." ... "That's hot..."

Apparently, Courtney Love and “Hole” are returning with a new album due out in April…

And nobody’s happier to hear this news than I am… Well, I guess it’s possible that I’m the second happiest person to hear this news because Courtney’s daughter, FRANCES BEAN COBAIN, just had to take out a restraining order against Courtney…

So, I’d imagine she’ll probably be pretty pleased to hear that Courtney will be out of the country promoting her new record for a few months…

Anyhoo, here’s the latest work of genius from Courtney… It’s called “Skinny Little Bitch”…

It sounds like an old song called “Every Hole Song… Ever“…

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 10:29AM Add Comment

VIDEO: Figure Skating To Nirvana…

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

"A mosquito... YEAH!"

"A mosquito... YEAH!"

Here’s a video that I think you’ll like of an amateur figure skater named Scott Williams…

Scott’s kinda special because he took to the ice looking “grungy“…

And when I say “grungy”, I mean like a reject from a community theater production of Jesus Christ Superstar... and then he did a hauntingly brooding program to Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit“…

Shortly after the finale of Scott’s performance, Kurt Cobain’s ghost, disguised as Elvis Stoiko, shot out of the ice and did a perfectly executed triple toe-loop into Scott’s nuts…

Enjoy!

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 2:45PM Add Comment

Who Wants To Take A Cruise With The Backstreet Boys?

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Trapped...
Trapped…

I think I can explain this…

Ring-Ring…

Dan: “Hello?”

God: “Is this Dan?”

Dan: “Yes, it is… Who’s this?”

God: “Oh… Um, nevermind… Hey, what’s your worst nightmare?”

Dan: “Oh… I’m not sure… Why? And who is this?”

God: “Nevermind all that… Just, um… Tell me about the nightmare…”

Dan: “I dunno, I guess probably to be stuck at sea, in the middle of the ocean… You know, with something terrible and nowhere to escape to…”

God: “Ha! Sucker!”

The End.

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Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 5:26PM Add Comment

Sony Fired Jennifer Lopez…

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
Fuck it!

"I don't care! Wuteva!"

It looks as though the 11 year collaboration between Jennifer Lopez and Sony Music has come to an abrupt end…

After much speculation about the impending commercial disaster of Lopez’ upcoming album, it would seem as if Sony decided to cut its losses with the star and eat the album’s cost, rather than endure the embarrassment of its release.

Lopez commented:

“I have fulfilled all my contractual obligations to Sony/Epic (and) we have come to an amicable decision.”

Well, that sounds pretty friendly. I’m sure that with a star of Jennifer’s caliber, her record company didn’t want to ruffle any feathers…

After fielding Jennifer’s announcement, Sony Music issued the following statement explaining their reasoning for firing Jennifer Lopez and suspending her album release.

It reads:

Fuck you, caweer!

"Fuck you, caweer!"

Love,

Sony / Epic

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Posted by dan at 2/28/2010 3:20PM Add Comment

Video Premiere: Kanye West’s “Coldest Winter”…

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Brrrr... ... Beep...

"Brrrr..." ... "Beep..."

Have you seen Tim Burton’s The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow?

Yes? Cool, then you can skip this shitty video… Oh, and the song too…

Not because the song also reminds me of Sleepy Hollow…

You can skip the song because it’s real shitty awful-like…

KANYE WEST “Coldest Winter” Directed by: NABIL “ITUNES link below” from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

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Posted by dan at 2/28/2010 1:53PM Add Comment

VIDEO: Whitney Is Tricky…

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Whatchu want? Huh?

"Whatchu want? Huh?"

Check out this video of Whitney Houston playing a little game of “You still think I’m a crackhead… dontcha?” with an Australian audience…

Initially she seems like she’s knocking on death’s door… then trying to kick it down… then she gets a battering ram to beat that shit in…

But then, around the 3:36 mark, she lights a flaming bag of dog shit on death’s doorstep and runs to the next house…

Enjoy!

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Posted by dan at 2/28/2010 10:33AM Add Comment

VIDEO: Rihanna Gets A Lap Dance From A Midget…

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

Somehow S & M fantasy and Rihanna seem like a bad combo...

Somehow S & M fantasy and Rihanna seem like a bad combo...

Rihanna decided to head to Scottsdale, Arizona to celebrate her birthday with a few close friends and current beau, LA Dodger, Matt Kemp…

Things obviously got wild because here’s a video of Rihanna getting a lap dance from porn star, Bridget The Midget…

I mean, this is some pretty kinky stuff because it’s not everyday that a bisexual midget serenades you on your birthday dressed as a dominatrix, armed with a riding crop and body oil…

Does anyone else think it’s weird that whoever organized this party neglected to tell Bridget The Midget not to simulate beating Rihanna up?

I mean, that’s like organizing a bachelorette party for Anne Frank and choosing to throw it in a crowded attic with no music or talking and only one slice of cake because “Miep” couldn’t get enough “Sexy Bride” rations…

Here’s the video:

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Posted by dan at 2/28/2010 1:40PM Add Comment

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