"Bladablahblahhh"

Ok, look…

I don’t care if you hate gorgeous Britney’s guts.

I don’t care if you “don’t get” performance art.

This video, by performance artist Erin Markey is the funniest goddamned fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

If you only start watching at 1:10 and go through the end, you should see the glimmer of pure brilliance that has touched my soul.

And, perhaps, my “nether regions”…

Enjoy:

(Via OMG! Blog)

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"Who wants flounder!!?"

Here’s a video I think you might like of Gwyneth Paltrow gracing an us with her vocal stylings…

That’s right, she’s at it again…

Check out a rare recording of Gwynnie blowing country-themed fart bubbles into a microphone…

As I watched the video below many thoughts raced through my head…

At the top of the list was that I’m surprised Loretta Lynn didn’t just walk right up on stage in front of everyone in the audience and shoot Gwyneth in the head…

Enjoy this now:

Wow!

One time I went to Gwyneth’s house for dinner in the West Village, except she wasn’t there, but I knew the person that was housesitting for her… Obviously.

You know what her house was filled with?

I’ll let you guess.

Take your time…

Oh, I’ll tell you.

It was filled with pictures of GWYNETH PALTROW AND OTHER FAMOUS PEOPLE… and that’s it.

I also excused myself to the ladies room and looked through her underwear drawer (which had an odor) and then I found her Oscar being used as a bookend.

Then, I peed on her toilet-seat, a little.

The End.

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"BIRDS!"

This might date me a little bit…

But, I was relatively sure that “The Kings of Leon” were a made up band that the kids on the new “Beverly Hills 90210″ went to go see when their parents thought they were studying…

That’s all probably still true, except this is episode where a group of renegade pigeons shit all over those assholes until they surrender in the name of “Brenda Walsh“.

Enjoy:

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Uh... YES, please...

I know…

I can’t even nearly believe it either…

If there’s a Patron Saint of gays who love 90s music, he’s smiling down upon us right now…

And when I say “smiling”, I mean “shaking pink glitter down from heaven, while doing the worm in a floral-print babydoll dress”…

Here’s a snippet from “All For You“, Ace of Base’s first new single in fifteen years!

Enjoy:

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Butch.

I like this video because at some point in the recent past, I started to think a beard was attractive…

Another reason I like this video is because I’m gay.

You might be also.

If you’re not, someone should nickname you “unicorn” next time you log on here…

It’s all about the guy in the black t-shirt…

Email the site please, sir…

Enjoy:

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"Hey, babe!"

Um.

Please watch Sammy Davis Jr. belt out his Rat Pack-esque version of “And I Am Telling You“, from Dreamgirls on some 70’s telethon…

There are lots of weird things about this video.

One of them is the fact that Sammy holds the song’s final note for 40 seconds…

Another is that he dedicates this rendition to “Frances Sinatra”…

Anyhoo:

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"Oy!" ... "Vey!"

Um…

If you have anything that you always wanted to say to Robert Pattinson, you should probably go ahead and say it now…

Bitch is about to “disappear” in about 25 minutes because he got all pissed that Courtney Love said he wasn’t right to play Kurt Cobain in some sort of biopic…

Annnnnnnd then he called her “a dick”…

Which is probably the most awesome death warrant ever…

Rob told The Daily Mirror:

“Sometimes these things just appear. I love Nirvana, but I love them a bit too much – I’d be embarrassed. And you see all these comments, like from Courtney Love, saying ’What the fuck! He’s totally wrong for it’, and I’m like, ’I fucking said no, you dick!’ I didn’t get offered it. For one thing, I’m too tall, and I can’t sing like him, I’m nothing like him!’ It’s ridiculous.”

Uh.

I mean, what are the chances that Courtney won’t kidnap and dismember Rob himself, every Twilight cast member, Stephenie Meyer herself, relative of staff member, janitor on-set, mail person, restroom attendant, and fan as soon as her bedsores heal.

It’d be hard to pin it on her though… if it weren’t for the surveillance tape of a MYSTERIOUS, BLONDE SMOKING DINOSAUR hopping into Billy Corgan’s maudlin getaway vehicle.

Ah!  Foiled again, Love…

The End.

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holy.fuck.

Noway, Jose…

Here’s a photograph or some sort of titanium etching of Lil’ Kim’s face yesterday while she was blowing a milkshake in front of a camera…

Seriously, I love an scrapper but I’m pretty sure it’s time to crack a champagne bottle… because this ship has fucking sailed, guys…

In terms of not looking like a human being, I’d go ahead and say that Lil’ Kim probably passed the point of no return about 6 years ago…

Well, she passed it on some sort of personalized jet-pack, then put it in clutch, and hauled-ass through the space-time continuum… with her head sticking out the fucking window…

The End.

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"Breasts? ... Check."

Uh…

I think might be a couple of years old, but someone leaked it today…

You know, because Lindsay’s going to prison.

Anyhoo, “Too Young To Die” was produced by JR Rotem who worked on Britney Spears‘s album Blackout, and also had sex with Britney, afterwards…

Oh, also listen for Brit-Brit singing background vocals…

Weird…

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Meet "Dr. Spike"...

Yes! It’s here!

We told you to look out for Ruthie’s premiere handbag!

Every once in a while, HitDanBack becomes so obsessed with a piece of fashion that he feels it’s his public duty to share it with the people.

Cue RUTHIE DAVIS…

You’ll be in fabulous company…

The likes of BEYONCE (with Ruthie), Miley Cyrus, LEIGHTON MEESTER, KATY PERRY, and KIM KARDASHIAN… All pictured in Ruthie’s shoes.

And now, we’re thrilled to report that RUTHIE’S first handbag ever, “Doctor Spike” is available exclusively on shop.HitDanBack.com!

Only twenty bags have been made…

And you can’t have BEYONCE’S…

Buy now, or forever hold your chic!

xoxo!

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