Uncategorized Archive

« Older Entries

Angelina Jolie Jumped Mick Jagger’s Brittle Bones…

Friday, March 5th, 2010
Daddy?

Daddy?

Yup… I know…

A new tell-all book written by Jenny Paul claims that Angie Jolie had a torrid affair with Mick Jagger in 1997 after they met on the set of the Rolling Stones video “Anybody Seen My Baby?”

The book alleges that Mick and Angie hooked up several times in 1997 while he was married to Jerry Hall and she was married to Jonny Lee Miller. Angie was 22 at the time, and Mick was probably 426…

And that’s not the end of it because Angelina and Mick reunited six years later to fuck and have a hot-tub…

Obviously, news about the Jolie-Jagger affair is pretty revelatory…

It’s only a matter a time before their long-lost love child files a paternity suit…

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: ,
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 2:18PM Add Comment

Courtney Love’s New Song Is Called “Skinny Little Bitch”…

Thursday, March 4th, 2010
Im writing a song about you... ... Thats hot...

"I'm writing a song about you..." ... "That's hot..."

Apparently, Courtney Love and “Hole” are returning with a new album due out in April…

And nobody’s happier to hear this news than I am… Well, I guess it’s possible that I’m the second happiest person to hear this news because Courtney’s daughter, FRANCES BEAN COBAIN, just had to take out a restraining order against Courtney…

So, I’d imagine she’ll probably be pretty pleased to hear that Courtney will be out of the country promoting her new record for a few months…

Anyhoo, here’s the latest work of genius from Courtney… It’s called “Skinny Little Bitch”…

It sounds like an old song called “Every Hole Song… Ever“…

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: ,
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 10:29AM Add Comment

Jermaine Jackson’s Son Tried To Use A Stun Gun On “Blanket”…

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: , , , ,
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 5:47PM Add Comment

Johnny Weir In NYC Wearing “That Old Thing”…

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
Walk-walk fashion baby...
Walk-walk fashion baby…

Johnny Weir took to the streets of New York this morning looking like Cruella DeVille’s gay intern…

I’d imagine that his Baleciaga purse is probably filled to the brim with feisty dalmations and other rare furs…

While his Louis Vuitton micro rolling suitcase is probably overflowing with designer head scarves, stilettos, and precious jewels…

Well, dalmations, expensive head-wear, precious jewels, and obviously, an econo-size tub of “Gun Oil“…

He’s only in New York through tonight, people…

 

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags:
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 3:47PM Add Comment

PHOTO: Haley Joel Osment Is Eating Lunch…

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
I know, I can't believe it either...

I know, I can't believe it either...

Haley Joel Osment is eating lunch at The Grey Dog Cafe on University Place… Also known as Emerald City…

Pretty amazing, right?

Now I feel like I can almost understand what it must have felt like for scientists to publish the first photographs of the moon’s surface…

I’ll take my Ansel Adams Award for Excellence in Groundbreaking Photography now…

I’ll also take my “Calm down, Dan“ meds whenever you have a moment, Stefan…

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags:
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 2:30PM Add Comment

Courtney Love’s Face: This Is Some Crunkness…

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
Someone has to invent a new symbol for explosive shock followed by laughter...

Sure, this looks normal...

I know what you’re thinking… and yes, I am guilty…

I posted a very similar photograph of Courtney from the Roberto Cavalli show yesterday.

The truth is that I saw this particular likeness of Ol’ Court and couldn’t ignore it…

If you blame me for that, I truly apologize.

But, maybe instead of fielding my apology, you should try to make amends to Courtney, you know?

That way she can stop blaming your great, great grandfather for typhoid, and quit floating around Civil War cemeteries, scratching at the headstones and moaning about her baby…

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags:
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 12:10PM Add Comment

Photo: Linsday Lohan Pours Red Bull All Over Photographers!

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

"Take that, father figure!"
“Take that, father figure!”

Lindsay Lohan was leaving a fashion show in Milan yesterday and all of a sudden, got real mad and decided to spray a can of toxic Red Bull on all of the photographers clamoring to photograph her flaming bagina trunk…

I assume Lindsay’s probably getting all the kicks she possibly can by causing stirs and abusing people around her because obviously, her days are numbered… On the other hand, I wouldn’t waste perfectly good energy drink if I were her…

In a few years, I’d imagine Lindsay will probably be selling Red Bull for a living…

And, you know, because she’s so industrious, probably moonlighting and making deals on the side to trade cases of it at CVS in exchange for Nicorette gum and her Valtrex prescription…

 

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags:
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 10:37AM Add Comment

VIDEO: Bill Cosby Wants You To Shut The F*ck Up…

Monday, March 1st, 2010
"Shut up..."

"Shut up..."

I think that people often make the mistake of confusing actor’s real personalities with that of the famous characters they’ve played…

For instance, Joan Collins played a stone-cold, fierce-ass bitch on Dynasty. Yet, she’s just as lovely as could be in person.

Another good example is Bill Cosby. I think lots of people think his real personality is a lot like Dr. Huxtable… And that, you know, he’s always walking around making funny faces and teaching kids cute lessons and feeding them Jello pudding…

But, in reality, he’s a dick who hates everyone.

Enjoy!

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: ,
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 6:07PM Add Comment

Real Housewives’ Kim Zolciak Is A Lesbian… Of Course…

Monday, March 1st, 2010
Hot...

Hot...

Here’s a photo of Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Kim Zolciak during her debut lesbian outing with her lady-friend, DJ Tracy Young…

Apparently, although the two are a relatively new couple, Kim is expected to come out of the closet on the upcoming season of Real Housewives…

Obviously, this is a publicity stunt, because I’d imagine that Kim had a hard time trying to figure what her next move would be in attempting to stay in the tabloids…

It was probably a toss-up between becoming a lesbian or a Druid…

I know what you’re thinking…Obviously, her nails are fucked either way…

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: , ,
Posted by dan at 3/31/2010 3:03PM Add Comment

George Clooney Wants You To Have This…

Thursday, February 25th, 2010
Hush Money... Er, Island...

""Hush Money"... Er, "Island...""

George Clooney is a dark horse… that’s for sure.

Anyhoo, guess what he bought his girlfriend, Italian “model”, Elisabetta Canalis… You know, just because…

Oh, I’ll tell you! He bought her that gorgeous island in the middle of Lake Como… You know, the one in the photo above with fucking castle in the middle of it? Yeah, that one.

In all honesty, that’s some lavish gift.

On the other hand, if this is all just an elaborate plan so that George can trap Elisabetta into role playing Shutter Island on that rocky bitch, he’s all set….

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: , ,
Posted by dan at 2/28/2010 10:42AM Add Comment

« Older Entries