"See ya!"
Man…
On the heels of Larry King’s announcement that he is retiring in the fall, CNN has announced that America’s Got Talent” judge Piers Morgan (who I find oddly sexy) has officially taken over for the talk show host…
That was fast…
In other news, when I was, like, ten years old, one time my mother fell asleep during Larry King (which is her favorite show of all fucking time), and I guess she was leaning on her wrist in a weird way and her hand fell asleep…
Anyhoo, all of a sudden, Larry had a coughing-jag, and it woke her up and (out of nowhere) she moaned, “Mmmm, poor Larry King...”.
And my sister and I were all, “Um. Why?”…
To which, my mother shot up off of the sofa (half-asleep), gave us this death-glare, and pointed her crinked, pins and needles hand at us and screamed, “Whaddya mean, why!? His hand is paralyzed!!!“…
So, the moral of the story is, Larry might be hanging up his suspenders, but he’s lucky as hell that he doesn’t live in my mother’s dreams…
Because, if he did, then he’d be a mummified retiree… with a kooky, paralyzed hand…
UPDATE: My mother just called me and said:
“I’m feeling very emotional about Larry…
He’s got a certain “Jewishness” or kind of style that we don’t see anymore… and “a look”…
Piers Morgan? Who’s he? I won’t watch him…
He knows how to conduct and interview and didn’t let anyone get away with anything…
I’ll tell you that much…
I have to go, I want a salad.”
[Click]
Ding!
The End.
CLICK HERE TO SHOP.HITDANBACK!
CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON FACEBOOK!
CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW HITDANBACK ON TWITTER!
Tags: Larry King, Stoller
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by HitDanBack.com. HitDanBack.com said: RT @GossipGravy: New Post: Larry King Retired… I'm Sorry, Mom… http://hitdanback.com/larry-king-retired-im-sorry-mom/ [...]
[...] Here’s Michael Lohan working the fake tears on my mother’s favorite show: [...]