blurp.

Here’s a photo of sexy Meg Ryan walking around New York City.

On the other hand, if someone told me this was some sort of crazy National Geographic pictorial of some albino tribe of women whose right of passage was to allow killer bees to sting their faces until “the dry season” ended, I’d believe it…

Another thing you should know about that albino tribe?

They fervently believe that evil forest dwelling spirits live in bras.

The End.

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"I'm married..." ... "I'm still down for whatever..."

Yup, we hear that Robbins and Ryan have been having an affair on and off since the 1990s…

Or, in Meg’s case, perhaps the fucking 1890s (by way of a time machine) because holy Christ on crutches, what the fuck happened to her face!?

But, according to Star Magazine, Robbins (who has moved out of the palatial New York loft he shared with Sarandon) is:

“thrilled that he doesn’t have to sneak around anymore. He’s even been staying at Meg’s LA home.”

Yeah… I vote to have Tim Robbins’ brain examined because honesty, dumping Susan Sarandon for Meg Ryan is like ordering the most delicious filet mignon for dinner, taking 20 years to savour it, and then sending it back for a plate of wet, sloppy fish by-products whose face perpetually looks like it just got a splinter…

"Hey, Dan... It's Meg. Go fuck yourself..."

Man, I am racking them up today! First, I wrote that Carrie Fisher looks like Elton John and she read it, and now she hates my guts…

Then I got on the bad side of David Boreanaz’ fan club…

And now, I got a mysterious letter from a VERY angry woman who’s pissed about what I said about Dennis Quaid being drunk (Meg Ryan’s face). Incidentally, she also seems to know a lot of intimate details about Meg’s marriage to Dennis Quaid (that have never been made public) and she also hates Dennis’ new, young wife with the force of 1,000 suns.

Check out this excerpt:

“Oh for gods sake leave his ex out of this, they were divorced 10 years ago! He cheated on her for years and she got him of cocaine and booze in the late eighties. The biatch he is currently married to only cares about his money, she doesn’t care that he’s back on the booze again. Heck, obviously these 2 don’t care for their young twins. Shame on you for pretending this sort of behaviour can somehow be excused. He could have KILLED someone driving drunk!”

Uh. Yeah. Here’s the thing “mystery woman”, the cop made Dennis take a cab home, so he didn’t drive and nobody got killed… See how that’s different from your morbid, fantastic, botox-induced pipe dream?

I wasn’t excusing his behavior or even commenting on it… Mostly I was marveling at your mind-bending plastic surgery. See the distinction? Blink your lips once for “yes” or twice for “no”… Thanks for understanding.

P.S. Holy shit, did I love you in When Harry Met Sally… xo

"Um, she's driving..."

Yikes! Dennis Quaid got all crunk at Kim Kardashian’s birthday party in West Hollywood last night… which is totally fucking weird. What the hell was Dennis Quaid doing at Kim Kardashian’s birthday party? Was he babysitting?

Anyhoo, he got wassssted and then tried to drive home until a cop pulled him out of the car and warned him not to be like Mel Gibson! Lol! Good advice, officer.

According to TMZ:

“Dennis got behind the wheel of the car when a police car pulled up alongside side the actor’s car and urged the 55-year-old actor to not drive. According to TMZ, police repeatedly told the actor, “Get out of the car.” He reportedly responded to the officer, asking, “What do you want me to do?” The actor, his wife and friend then reportedly went back inside the restaurant and emerged a short time later to a waiting taxicab. The waiting paparazzi reportedly screamed, “You don’t want a DUI. You don’t want to end up like Mel Gibson.” Dennis reportedly laughed before getting into the cab and driving off.”

Ruh-roh! Check out the video:

Ha! Meanwhile, Dennis Quaid still looks like a pretty hot slice of ass. What does he have to be self-medicating about? He’s rich, famous, handsome, has a young wife… Oh… Wait a minute. Hm.

And an ex wife whose fucking surged out face probably haunts his dreams… God knows he probably would have smashed his car into a building trying to get Meg Ryan off his brain…

"I still got it!"

Spike TV has gone ahead and released the ultimate in chauvinism!  Yes! They’ve graced us with their list of actresses who need to pack it in…

And the lucky ladies are:

10. Nicole Kidman

9. Teri Hatcher

8. Drew Barrymore

7. Helen Hunt

6. Renee Zellweger

5. Lindsay Lohan

4. Sarah Jessica Parker

3. Meg Ryan

2. Cameron Diaz

1. Julia Roberts

Shit, dude… that’s rough…

We’re curious, which actors and actresses do YOU think are over-the-hill!? Email: HitDanBack@gmail.com !